Somehow I’ve managed to get myself a job working for what comes close to being “The Man.” Fund raising is not all it’s cracked up to be, as it turns out it’s a lot of work, which is why posts have been few lately. This is what I have to say at every door at which I knock and get an answer:
Hi, I’m ____, with the Democratic National Committee. We’re working to defeat George Bush and the Republicans this November.
We’ve got everything on the line this election – from jobs and the economy to the Supreme Court and foreign policy. There are only __ days left and we’ve got to pull out all the stops to win.
Bush and the Republicans have raised over a quarter of a billion dollars, and they’re spending it on negative ads about John Kerry right now. We’re fighting back with the back with the largest grassroots campaign ever and we need your support tonight.
Here’s my statement of support.
The best way you can help is with a contribution of $100. Our top priority is to put resources into key swing states to get every possible voter identified and to the polls. Your support will really make a difference in helping us defeat Bush and win back the Congress. The best way to contribute is with a credit card or a check made out to the Democratic National Committee.
This is what popped into my head after about two days of canvassing neighborhoods on foot. After all, just because I have no social life doesn’t mean I don’t get lonely:
Hi, I’m ___, with the Democratic National Committee. I find you very attractive.
There are a number of things about you that I find attractive, your eyes, your smile and your sense of humor so I’ve got to pull out all the stops to get your attention tonight.
The problem is that a lot of other people find you attractive and thus it is very difficult to get your attention. I’m fighting back with the largest attention-getting campaign ever and I need your support tonight.
Here’s my cell phone number.
The best way you can help tonight is to take me out on a date. My top priority is to get to know you and your support will really make a difference in reaching that goal. As I said before, the best way to help is with a date, possibly dinner or a movie. I’d love to get you involved at whatever level you’re comfortable with.
